


I Hope It Gets a Whole Lot Better

by tiniestmite



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drinking, Established Relationship, M/M, Relapsing, TK Strand Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniestmite/pseuds/tiniestmite
Summary: After a particularly bad shift, TK turns to alcohol to cope with his mistakes.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 12
Kudos: 100





	I Hope It Gets a Whole Lot Better

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Relapse, alcohol, minor beginning of a panic attack

TK isn’t sure how he got here. 

When he first showed up at the bar, he thought he might try and pick a fight, even though he promised Carlos that wouldn’t happen again. Instead he ended up taking a seat at the bar and ordering a drink out of habit. A habit that he thought he had broken years ago.

It’s been ten minutes since the bartender brought over his drink. She’s been giving him glances every once in a while but he barely notices. He just keeps staring at the glass, getting lost in the dark brown liquid of his rum and coke. 

He messed up today on shift. Badly. He tries to stop playing out the details in his mind but images are burned in his brain and the words spoken by his dad continue to echo in his ears.  _ How did this happen? What were you thinking? I expected more from you.  _

He disappointed his dad. Again. No matter how hard he works at gaining his trust back, TK always finds a way to screw it up. 

He thought he was in a good place. He really did. He was given a fresh start in Austin with a new fire house and a new team. He has an incredible boyfriend. It even seemed like his dad would be ready to let him move out soon and be on his own again. Well that wouldn’t be happening now.

It scares him just how little it took to push him off the edge. Except he’s not off the edge. Not yet anyway. He’s just standing there, ready to fall at any second. He could also just as easily step back and walk out of the bar. 

But he’s already here and he already ordered the drink. It’s right there, staring back at him. He’s already screwed up once today. He already failed once today. Why not go all the way?

Without giving it another thought, he extends his hand out, clenching the glass and tips it back, letting the familiar sting run down the back of his throat.

Placing the glass back down on the bar counter, he lets the drink run through his system, immediately feeling the effects. The recognizable sensation of alcohol coursing through his veins and the buzzing that starts up in his head puts his formerly loud thoughts at ease. For the first time in a long time, he feels alive.

Wanting to hold onto the feeling a little longer, he signals to the bartender to order another drink. This time when she places the glass in front of him, he doesn’t hesitate. He wastes no time tipping the glass back and drinking it all nearly in one shot. 

Then he orders another. And another.

By the time TK is halfway done his fourth drink, the guilt starts to wash over him. He can feel his thoughts spiraling and the good feeling he had after that first taste disappears. 

His hands start to shake and he notices himself start to hyperventilate. 

He screwed up. 

Again. 

Suddenly feeling suffocated by the busy bar around him, he leaves the cash he has on him with his unfinished drink and hurries out into the cool nighttime. 

Pulling out his phone, his first thought is to call his sponsor. As soon as he had arrived in Austin, one of his first priorities was finding someone he could relate to and he was lucky enough to meet Justin in his AA group. He knows Justin would not be upset and he could help him work through his emotions. However, TK isn’t quite sure if he’s ready to face the consequences of starting his sobriety over yet. 

He knows he can’t call his dad. Not yet. He also knows that he will have to come clean to him about everything soon. For now though, TK can’t bear the thought of having disappointed him twice in one day.

After ruling out Justin and his dad, TK calls the only other person he trusts.

It rings a few times before the person picks up, “ _Reyes_ ”

Instead of responding, TK tries to muffle the sob that escapes from his mouth upon hearing his boyfriend’s voice. He knows Carlos is home. They were supposed to get together tonight but TK had told him that he had a rough shift and that they would reschedule.

“ _TK? Is everything okay?_ ”

Carlos must have looked at the caller ID. If he hangs up now, the other man would definitely keep calling him back. Or worse, he would show up at his house, alerting his dad to the fact that something was wrong.

“Can you come pick me up?” He manages to get out in a shaky voice.

“ _Where are you? What happened?_ ”

TK manages to get out the name and address of the bar he had stumbled upon and after Carlos reassures him that he will be there in ten minutes, TK hangs up and lets the tears he was holding back fall.

* * *

True to his word, Carlos pulls up in his blue Camaro less than ten minutes later, giving TK enough time to at least attempt to pull himself together.

He wastes no time hopping out of his car and making a bee-line over to TK. “Hey tiger, what’s going on?” He says, trying to mask the concern in his voice but TK notices anyway. 

“I- uh,” TK stammers, unable to get the words out.

“You drank, didn’t you?” 

TK nods, looking up at him with glassy eyes.

“Okay,” Carlos says, wrapping his arm around TK and guiding him to the passenger side of the car.

The ride is silent at first with neither of them sure what to say. Carlos is focused on the road ahead while TK stares out the window.

“Did you call your sponsor?” Carlos asks, breaking the silence.

TK looks over to him before answering him with a small, “no.”

“Your dad?”

“No,” TK sighs, “can we go to your place though? I will tell him. And I will call my sponsor. Just, just not yet. Okay?”

“TK, I really think I should just take you home…”

“Please, Carlos.”

With TK looking at him with those adorable green eyes, who is he to say no to that?

“Okay, but you have to call your dad tomorrow morning.”

“That’s fine.”

They return to silence for the rest of the ride until they pull into Carlos’ driveway. Shutting off the engine, neither one of them makes a move to get out of the car.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well something obviously happened.” Of course Carlos wouldn’t let him get off this easy. 

“I just had a bad shift. That’s all.”

“Bad enough to make you want to drink?”

“I..” TK takes a deep breath before continuing, “I messed up.”

Carlos doesn’t say anything. He just looks at the other man, waiting for him to keep going in his own time.

“We responded to a car accident today. A woman was trapped inside a car that had flipped. She was pinned in and I thought that leaving her in any longer would be more harmful than if we took the time to get her out,” he stops, trying to find the right words. “My dad ordered us to get the airbags and the jaws. I insisted that we couldn’t waste any time..”

Sensing that he was about to start crying, Carlos places his hand on his shoulder, rubbing circles with his thumb while he patiently waits for TK to continue.

“I disobeyed the order, Carlos. I pulled her out anyway.”

His breath hitches as Carlos gives him a sympathetic look. “Is she okay?”

TK just shakes his head, unable to say anything more. Carlos leans over and pulls him into a hug, letting him sob into his shoulder. 

“I can’t keep letting my dad down,” TK admits when they break from their embrace. “I didn’t mean to turn to substances as a way to cope with it but it just happened. I messed up.”

“I know, baby,” Carlos replies. “The important thing is that you admitted your mistakes. And you will get better, I know you will. And I will be here for you every step of the way. I’m not going anywhere.”

TK leans over, resting his head on Carlos’ shoulder. They would be okay. He would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't stop emotionally whumping TK and I'm not sorry about it... the next fic there might be some Carlos whump though...
> 
> Comments and kudos are ALWAYS appreciated
> 
> This was inspired by theworld-is-out-there on tumblr, who posted a doc with prompt ideas - one of which was "TK, "Can you come get me"" and probably fills some of the other ones too but that was the one that that sparked my inspiration to write this!
> 
> Beta-edited by terramous on tumblr!
> 
> Title is from "Mansion Door" by Shakey Graves
> 
> Come yell at me about how much I like to hurt these boys on tumblr- tiniestmite (main) / 911lonestars (911 sideblog)


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